I've come a long way since I've started my journey on the path to becoming a man. I've been tackling my brain, my body, anxiety, and the opinions of others. I've been transforming physically, mentally, and emotionally. I've noticed the change in myself and so have others. I feel great about myself!
I received some incredible last week in therapy. I had filled out my psychosocial worksheet a couple weeks ago and we were discussing a few concerns that the director had about the traumatic experiences in my past. No, that's not the good news. Good news is that she asked if I could come in again this week instead of the following week because she should have my letter of recommendation for T! I was so excited! I was smiling from ear to ear on the drive home and for the remainder of the week. I'm still in a great mood, though I did get some weird news at work from HR.
According to HR, I can't legally use the men's locker room because I self-identified as "female" when I first filled out my employment paperwork. He said I could request a change in writing, and I did. In the meantime he said that I can use the gender neutral restroom (which I have been doing for well over a month) or continue to use the women's locker room. He also stated that the department manager is getting a locker for the gender neutral bathroom for my use. I'm having mixed feeling about this. I'm glad they are acknowledging the fact that I do not identify as a woman, but they don't really acknowledge me as a man. I feel like a fence has been built and I've been told to perch on top of it. I feel like I'm an outcast. Like I'm an "it" instead of a he. But, I should look at it as progress. They are doing the best they can since this is the first instance this has happened within the company. I just have to be patient with them. I have to be patient with a lot of people these days.
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