Busy Boi...Part II

So, as promised, here is the 2nd installment of the Busy Boi post. Sorry for the delay, but I've been pretty busy. This is the good news part, though I always have plenty of bad shit to talk about.

After a 6 month wait, I was able to get in to see the only endocrinologist in the area that deal with trans issues and HRT on Feb. 7th. It was a long time coming and I was very excited about finally getting to that step. I figured there would be a long of questions to answer, some bloodwork, and then an appointment to come back to go over results. You know, a typical doctor's visit. Well, I was right about the questions and stuff, but not the rest. I was called in by the nurse, had my vitals taken and waited for the doctor in the exam room. A med student came in first and introduced himself and asked a bunch of questions. Then he left and came back with the doctor. The doctor came in and talked with me for a little while. I expressed my concern with being on T long term and the effects it would have on my uterus, such as cancer risks and such. He put my mind at ease, but also told me that it would be a good idea to get a hysterectomy anyway. He then handed me a prescription for my testosterone and told me to come back when I get it filled so I could get my first shot. I was pretty much in shock! So soon? I figured I would have to wait a month before I would get my first shot. This is all happening so quickly! Not that I'm complaining, but I just wasn't expecting it.

So, I've been on T for 2 months now. I've already started to notice some changes, like acne, clitoral growth (which I refer to as my dick, or cock), and the sex drive of a teenage boy. It gives me a whole new perspective on teenage boys, and I have a lot of respect for them now. It's not easy walking around with that much testosterone rushing through your body and not want to hump everything in sight. It can be incredibly awkward at times. 

After my trip to the endocrinologist, I went to the country clerk's office and filed the petition for my name change. The following week, I was shocked to see my self-addressed envelope in the mail. I got my name change order back! I wasn't expecting to see that for a good month or so. So, then I had to publish the name change in the newspaper and ended up waiting over 2 weeks to get the affidavit of publication back so I could file that with the county clerk's office. Since I was going to be changing the name on my driver's license, I figure I would have my therapist write me a letter so I could change the gender marker on my license at the same time. So I had to wait for that. Everything is pretty much all filed and set. I just need the money to pay for the new driver's license, updated registration and stuff like that. Not that it costs a whole lot, but I have other obligations that take precedence. So, there's always next week....provided I find the time.

Speaking of time...I've registered for both summer and fall classes at school. I was studying Business Administration, but I don't think that it's going to help me too much with what I really want to do with my life. Even before I came to the realization that I was transgender, I was fairly passionate about human rights. I became even more passionate once I was faced with the denial of basic human rights that I was once entitled to before identifying as a man. Since starting my transition, I have found my voice and become much more assertive. No longer am I shy about how I feel and what I'm thinking. If I don't stand up for myself, then who will? So, I've been looking to get more involved with trans rights and the Pride Agenda. I recently shared my story at a Transgender Rights event down in Hudson, NY at a place called MOD. Everyone enjoyed my story and I felt really good about sharing it. I met a lot of really nice people and my mom was there to support me. It just felt so good to be up there talking to everyone.

I think I finally found what I'm looking for. I want to help others who have found themselves in situations like mine. I want to be their voice.

Busy Boi....Part I

It's been a while since I last posted here, but I've made a promise to myself to correct that. I owe it to myself to get this stuff off my mind so it doesn't build up and tear me apart. So much has been happening with me lately that I might have to break this post up into 2 parts. I think that this post will start with the bad crap, this way you have some good news to look forward to. Deal? Okay then....

Work has been less than pleasurable lately. What with not being able to use the men's room (still!!!!!), and a less than desirable work environment, it has left me stressed out. I've been losing sleep, been cranky, and even my grades have been slipping. It's unlike me to be getting a C in principles of Marketing! I can only tell myself right now that it's just one class. It's just ONE class! It's not the end of the world.

Okay. I know I put a lot of emphasis on the men's room at work, but it really does mean a lot to me. I'm glad to not have to be stuck in the women's room, and that they were accommodating enough to put a locker in the unisex bathroom for me, but it just sucks that I'm being singled out. I'm being excluded from the male population and now the newer people who have no idea about my history as a girl are referring to me as "she" and "her" instead of using male pronouns. So, for all I know they think I'm probably a butch lesbian or something. Not that I have anything against butch lesbians, but I'm not a woman. And the thought of being with a woman just kinda grosses me out.

There's also some weird crap going on at work where everything I do gets reported. I mean, seriously??? So, I kinda blew up at one of the "supervisors" because there's a definite double standard going on. I do something and I get reported. Someone else does the same thing, and even to a greater degree, and nothing happens. I'm just tired of wearing a fucking bulls-eye on my back. I even got reported for dropping the "F-bomb" in a conversation I was having with someone else! People obviously have nothing better to do than spy on my conversations and stalk me to watch my every move. Get a fucking life people.

The love life has been sucking pretty hard too. Just when I think I might have found a guy that I'm compatible with, I get the "Sorry, but I changed my mind. Can we still be friends?" I have plenty of friends. What I want is someone to hold, love, and get all freaky with! Guess I'll just have to hold out a little bit longer on that. Good news is that I've been searching, and reaching out to new people. So far, things are looking up for me in that regard.

Now, I just need to make it through the work week!